You Might Be A Feminist If…





Credit Jeff Foxworthy who came us with the “You Might Be A…” scheme and who also had nothing to do with this article.


With No Further Ado…

You Might Be A Feminist If…

  • Your believe rape is waking up the next day and regretting you had sex with him, but if he regrets sex with you he has commitment issues.
  • Your ideal of equal rights is saying whatever you want under free speech, and then claiming any rebuttal is “hate speech” or “misogyny”.
  • You feel like ending the marriage and still expect him to pay for your strong, independent self.
  • You believe that government birth control should be free to you and not men.
  • You believe that domestic violence is a man shoving you back after you have degraded him, spit on him, and punched him in the face.
  • You believe that there is a pay gap because your teaching job doesn’t pay as much as an engineering job.
  • You believe it is your body, therefore your sole right to determine birth control, abortion or if you give birth – and the man has to pay regardless of what he wants.
  • You believe what happens to one woman is the oppression of all women – regardless of her personal choices.
  • You think nothing in your life is your fault, just the external manifestation of men controlling you.
  • You believe that men and women should be equal – but will only date a guy over six foot with his own place, a Vette who makes more than you and pays for all the dates.
  • You believe that the broke, out of work thug that didn’t want anything other than a casual sex with you should now marry you or pay child support after you lied about birth control and poked a hole in is condom.
  • You believe that if you slapped him, he deserved it. However if he slaps you back you call two male police officers to teach him how strong and independent you are.funny-feminist-joke-sandwich
  • You believe that saying “you are better than men” makes you look strong, but if a man says “he is better than women” he is a sexist.
  • You believe you are a strong, independent woman – up till something heavy needs to be lifted, that’s a man’s job.
  • You believe it is only sexism when men do it.
  • You laugh at jokes about men and get angry at jokes about women
  • You believe men are too quick to judge you and your cause, so they must be misogynists with tiny penises who have never been with a girl.
  • You believe rape jokes are not funny, but dick jokes in the garbage disposal are hilarious.

For you feminist who read this and cry “foul”, I would remind you of what your feminist leaders have written about men. I find no equality, unity or love in their words. Only hatred. Most self proclaimed feminist women belief the myths of the patriarchy, rather than learning what your leaders said, did and felt. Feminism may have started as a way for women to have equal opportunity in employment and government (voting was for land owners – not men), but it has long been morphed as women projecting a life without man. My bet is because the guys they liked, didn’t like them back.

“As long as some men use physical force to subjugate females, all men need not. The knowledge that some men do suffices to threaten all women. He can beat or kill the woman he claims to love; he can rape women…he can sexually molest his daughters… THE VAST MAJORITY OF MEN IN THE WORLD DO ONE OR MORE OF THE ABOVE.”
– Marilyn French (her emphasis)

“All men are rapists and that’s all they are”
Marilyn French, Author; (and advisor to Al Gore’s Presidential Campaign.)

“Men’s sexuality is mean and violent, and men so powerful that they can ‘reach WITHIN women to ****/construct us from the inside out.’ Satan-like, men possess women, making their wicked fantasies and desires women’s own. A woman who has sex with a man, therefore, does so against her will, ‘even if she does not feel forced.’
Judith Levine

“Rape is nothing more or less than a conscious process of intimidation by which all men keep all women in a state of fear” — Susan Brownmiller; Authoress of Against Our Will p.6

GoldSeparator“In a patriarchal society, all heterosexual intercourse is rape because women, as a group, are not strong enough to give meaningful consent.”
– Catharine MacKinnon, quoted in Professing Feminism: Cautionary Tales from the Strange World of Women’s Studies.

”Perhaps the wrong of rape has proven so difficult to articulate because the unquestionable starting point has been that rape is definable as distinct from intercourse, when for women it is difficult to distinguish them under conditions of male dominance.” — Catherine MacKinnon quoted in Feminism, Marxism, Method, and the State: Toward Feminist Jurisprudence p.647

Politically, I call it rape whenever a woman has sex and feels violated. — Catherine MacKinnon “A Rally Against Rape” (1981), p. 82

In my opinion, no feminism worthy of the name is not methodologically post-marxist. Catherine MacKinnon “Desire and Power: A Feminist Perspective” (1983), p. 60

GoldSeparator“The more famous and powerful I get the more power I have to hurt men.” — Sharon Stone; ActressGoldSeparator“The proportion of men must be reduced to and maintained at approximately 10% of the human race.” — Sally Miller Gearhart, in The Future – If There Is One – Is Female.GoldSeparator“Men who are unjustly accused of rape can sometimes gain from the experience.” – Catherine Comins
GoldSeparator“Life in this society being, at best, an utter bore and no aspect of society being at all relevant to women, there remains to civic-minded, responsible, thrill-seeking females only to overthrow the government, eliminate the money system, institute complete automation, and destroy the male sex.”
Valerie Solana, SCUM founder (Society for Cutting Up Men.)GoldSeparator“Since marriage constitutes slavery for women, it is clear that the women’s movement must concentrate on attacking this institution. Freedom for women cannot be won without the abolition of marriage.” — Sheila Cronin, the leader of the feminist organization NOWGoldSeparator“Heterosexual intercourse is the pure, formalized expression of contempt for women’s bodies.” — Andrea Dworkin

Under patriarchy, every woman’s son is her potential betrayer and also the inevitable rapist or exploiter of another woman.” — Andrea Dworkin

“To be rapeable, a position that is social, not biological, defines what a woman is.” — Andrea Dworkin

“Men love death. In everything they make, they hollow out a central place for death, let its rancid smell contaminate every dimension of whatever still survives. Men especially love murder. In art they celebrate it, and in life they commit it. They embrace murder as if life without it would be devoid of passion, meaning, and action, as if murder were solace, stilling their sobs as they mourn the emptiness and alienation of their lives.”
– Andrea Dworkin

“Marriage as an institution developed from rape as a practice.” — Andrea Dworkin

“I want to see a man beaten to a bloody pulp with a high-heel shoved in his mouth, like an apple in the mouth of a pig.” — Andrea DworkinGoldSeparator“We can’t destroy the inequities between men and women until we destroy marriage.” — Robin Morgan

“I claim that rape exists any time sexual intercourse occurs when it has not been initiated by the woman, out of her own genuine affection and desire.”
– Robin Morgan

“I feel that ‘man-hating’ is an honorable and viable political act, that the oppressed have a right to class-hatred against the class that is oppressing them.” — Robin Morgan, Ms. Magazine Editor.

“And let’s put one lie to rest for all time: the lie that men are oppressed, too, by sexism–the lie that there can be such a thing as ‘men’s liberation groups.’ Oppression is something that one group of people commits against another group, specifically because of a ‘threatening’ characteristic shared by the latter group–skin, color, sex or age, etc. The oppressors are indeed ****ED UP by being masters, but those masters are not OPPRESSED. Any master has the alternative of divesting himself of sexism or racism–the oppressed have no alternative–for they have no power but to fight. In the long run, Women’s Liberation will of course free men–but in the short run it’s going to cost men a lot of privilege, which no one gives up willingly or easily. Sexism is NOT the fault of women–kill your fathers, not your mothers”.
Robin MorganGoldSeparator“The institution of sexual intercourse is anti-feminist” — Ti-Grace Atkinson

“Feminism is the theory, lesbianism is the practice.” — Ti-Grace Atkinson
GoldSeparator“If the classroom situation is very heteropatriarchal–a large beginning class of 50 to 60 students, say, with few feminist students–I am likely to define my task as largely one of recruitment…of persuading students that women are oppressed”
Professor Joyce Trebilcot of Washington UniversityGoldSeparator“We are, as a sex, infinitely superior to men, and if we were free and developed, healthy in body and mind, as we should be under natural conditions, our motherhood would be our glory. That function gives women such wisdom and power as no male can possess.” — Elizabeth Cady Stanton Diary of 27 December 1890

GoldSeparator“If life is to survive on this planet, there must be a decontamination of the Earth. I think this will be accompanied by an evolutionary process that will result in a drastic reduction of the population of males.” — Mary Daly, philosopher and former professor at Boston College (women’s studies and others); “No Man’s Land”; What Is Enlightenment? (1999)GoldSeparator“[The falsely accused] have a lot of pain, but it is not a pain that I would necessarily have spared them. I think it ideally initiates a process of self-exploration. ‘How do I see women?’ ‘If I did not violate her, could I have?’ … Those are good questions.” — Catherine Comins, assistant dean of students at Vassar College; TIME Magazine (June 3 1992)

3 Thoughts on “You Might Be A Feminist If…

  1. I kicked the floor. It felt solid.

  2. Maddi Radford on April 8, 2014 at 4:16 am said:

    This is disgusting–feminism is about equality. I don’t think penis jokes are funny any more than I think women jokes are funny. Stop making sweeping generalizations about us–these are all characteristics of femiNAZIS, not feminists. Seriously. And, as a feminist, I have a boyfriend, who loves me very much, and I love him. He’s a feminist too. Feminism shouldn’t even have to be defined, because it’s trying to stamp out hatred against BOTH genders. We don’t like the media’s portrayal of men, either.

    Articles like this are why people have so many misconceptions about feminism, and why people think we’re Lesbians or man-haters who do not shave our legs and want to live lives without men.
    Really, we’re just trying to show everyone how demented society is. Feminism is for women, yes–but ALSO men.
    I would fight for a man’s right just as much as I’d fight for a woman’s. This post shows a complete and utter lack of thought, and while it’s not really worth me getting angry about it, I would just like to put in my two cents about the horrible stereotypes it fosters.

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